Failure is always an option!
It's time to start learning about software and some coding, but before you learn you must understand one simple thing:
Failure is ALWAYS an option!
This ain't no set of trademark named plastic bricks with instructions that tell you how to build what you want.
This is Software Engineering (with a big E) and requires you to understand some big things ... and some little things. And one of those things is that you're going to write your code, and then it's not going to do what you want it to do!
So in other words, and repeat it with us now:
FAILURE IS ALWAYS AN OPTION!
Great! Now that you've got that, let's try failing for a bit, get you used to that feeling of failure ... and learnin'
Failure Lesson 1: No matter how much you know, you don't know anything.
How you failed: Assuming you know what you're thinking.
How to not fail: You need to know you know what your thinking. If you can't know you know, then you can't possibly know as much as you think you actually do. The things you are doing might be awesome, but your hubris will create bugs because you think you are SSssOOooo smart just because you learned a few lines of code.
Moral of the story: The more you know, the better your code will flow.
Failure lesson 2: Don't think you can read your own chicken scratch later.
How you failed: Assuming you'll remember what you what you're thinking.
How to not fail: Get your thoughts out SSSSllllllloooooooowwwwllllyyy. Be pedantic when you get it out, you might find out later that your complete thought can be directly translated into code in a few lines, and BLINgo blANGO, your code is done. Plus, you never know when someone else (even yourself) will come up on your code 5 years later to fix it.
Moral of the story: Code unto others, as you would have them code unto you.
Failure lesson 3: 640k of RAM is enough! Just not for you.
How you failed: Assuming your users have as beefy a machine as you.
How to not fail: .
Moral of the story: STOP ASSUMING!
Failure lesson 4: Don't think your users are dumber than you, they know what they want more than you do.
How you failed: .
How to not fail: .
Moral of the story: !
Failure lesson 5: The computer isn't wrong, you are.
How you failed: .
How to not fail: .
Moral of the story: !
Failure lesson 6: If you think you understand it, you don't.
How you failed: .
How to not fail: .
Moral of the story: !
Failure lesson 7: When in doubt, stay there.
How you failed: .
How to not fail: .
Moral of the story: Employ the 2 second rule for thought: if it's not sticky and gross after picking it up off the ground after 2 seconds, it's a keeper!
Failure lesson 8: You don't understand crypto and never will.
How you failed: .
How to not fail: .
Moral of the story: !
Failure lesson 9: You're not a hacker, cracker, or a pirate, so stop pretending your cool.
How you failed: .
How to not fail: .
Moral of the story: !
Failure lesson 10: That's right, your code is horrible and can be re-written and optimized 42 ways from Sunday, get over it.
How you failed: .
How to not fail: .
Moral of the story: !
Failure lesson 11: Things change, but nothing ever evolves.
How you failed: .
How to not fail: .
Moral of the story: !
Failure lesson 12: Humans don't speak 1's and 0's. They hardly speak at all in fact.
How you failed: .
How to not fail: .
Moral of the story: !
Failure lesson 13: The more you look at the clock, the less you have time to actually do stuff.
How you failed: .
How to not fail: .
Moral of the story: !
Failure lesson 14: Your computer is the machine, not your body.
How you failed: .
How to not fail: .
Moral of the story: !
(Challenge 2: Development Expectations and Outcome) Failure lesson 15:
How you failed: .
How to not fail: .
Moral of the story: !
2. Adding excessive personnel to achieve unrealistic schedule compression. Failure lesson :
How you failed: .
How to not fail: .
Moral of the story: !
3. Failing to account and adjust for requirements growth or change and making necessary adjustments to the schedule and budget forecasts. Commercial pressures Failure lesson :
How you failed: .
How to not fail: .
Moral of the story: !
4. Emotional or “intuition-based” stakeholder negotiation that ignores facts and statistics. Use of immature technology Stakeholder politics and lack of Stakeholder involvement Failure lesson :
How you failed: .
How to not fail: .
Moral of the story: !
5. False, but common belief that the proverbial IT silver bullet alone can solve project throughput or process issues. Failure lesson :
How you failed: .
How to not fail: .
Moral of the story: !
Challenge 9: Test Environment Duplication Failure lesson :
How you failed: .
How to not fail: .
Moral of the story: !
Failure lesson :
How you failed: .
How to not fail: .
Moral of the story: !
Poor reporting of the project’s status un-managed risks Inability to handle the project’s complexity Failure lesson :
How you failed: .
How to not fail: .
Moral of the story: !
And for your final failure:
NOT READING!!!
Come on, be serious with yourself ... did you really read all of this??
It's time to start learning about software and some coding, but before you learn you must understand one simple thing:
Failure is ALWAYS an option!
This ain't no set of trademark named plastic bricks with instructions that tell you how to build what you want.
This is Software Engineering (with a big E) and requires you to understand some big things ... and some little things. And one of those things is that you're going to write your code, and then it's not going to do what you want it to do!
So in other words, and repeat it with us now:
FAILURE IS ALWAYS AN OPTION!
Great! Now that you've got that, let's try failing for a bit, get you used to that feeling of failure ... and learnin'
Failure Lesson 1: No matter how much you know, you don't know anything.
How you failed: Assuming you know what you're thinking.
How to not fail: You need to know you know what your thinking. If you can't know you know, then you can't possibly know as much as you think you actually do. The things you are doing might be awesome, but your hubris will create bugs because you think you are SSssOOooo smart just because you learned a few lines of code.
Moral of the story: The more you know, the better your code will flow.
Failure lesson 2: Don't think you can read your own chicken scratch later.
How you failed: Assuming you'll remember what you what you're thinking.
How to not fail: Get your thoughts out SSSSllllllloooooooowwwwllllyyy. Be pedantic when you get it out, you might find out later that your complete thought can be directly translated into code in a few lines, and BLINgo blANGO, your code is done. Plus, you never know when someone else (even yourself) will come up on your code 5 years later to fix it.
Moral of the story: Code unto others, as you would have them code unto you.
Failure lesson 3: 640k of RAM is enough! Just not for you.
How you failed: Assuming your users have as beefy a machine as you.
How to not fail: .
Moral of the story: STOP ASSUMING!
Failure lesson 4: Don't think your users are dumber than you, they know what they want more than you do.
How you failed: .
How to not fail: .
Moral of the story: !
Failure lesson 5: The computer isn't wrong, you are.
How you failed: .
How to not fail: .
Moral of the story: !
Failure lesson 6: If you think you understand it, you don't.
How you failed: .
How to not fail: .
Moral of the story: !
Failure lesson 7: When in doubt, stay there.
How you failed: .
How to not fail: .
Moral of the story: Employ the 2 second rule for thought: if it's not sticky and gross after picking it up off the ground after 2 seconds, it's a keeper!
Failure lesson 8: You don't understand crypto and never will.
How you failed: .
How to not fail: .
Moral of the story: !
Failure lesson 9: You're not a hacker, cracker, or a pirate, so stop pretending your cool.
How you failed: .
How to not fail: .
Moral of the story: !
Failure lesson 10: That's right, your code is horrible and can be re-written and optimized 42 ways from Sunday, get over it.
How you failed: .
How to not fail: .
Moral of the story: !
Failure lesson 11: Things change, but nothing ever evolves.
How you failed: .
How to not fail: .
Moral of the story: !
Failure lesson 12: Humans don't speak 1's and 0's. They hardly speak at all in fact.
How you failed: .
How to not fail: .
Moral of the story: !
Failure lesson 13: The more you look at the clock, the less you have time to actually do stuff.
How you failed: .
How to not fail: .
Moral of the story: !
Failure lesson 14: Your computer is the machine, not your body.
How you failed: .
How to not fail: .
Moral of the story: !
(Challenge 2: Development Expectations and Outcome) Failure lesson 15:
How you failed: .
How to not fail: .
Moral of the story: !
2. Adding excessive personnel to achieve unrealistic schedule compression. Failure lesson :
How you failed: .
How to not fail: .
Moral of the story: !
3. Failing to account and adjust for requirements growth or change and making necessary adjustments to the schedule and budget forecasts. Commercial pressures Failure lesson :
How you failed: .
How to not fail: .
Moral of the story: !
4. Emotional or “intuition-based” stakeholder negotiation that ignores facts and statistics. Use of immature technology Stakeholder politics and lack of Stakeholder involvement Failure lesson :
How you failed: .
How to not fail: .
Moral of the story: !
5. False, but common belief that the proverbial IT silver bullet alone can solve project throughput or process issues. Failure lesson :
How you failed: .
How to not fail: .
Moral of the story: !
Challenge 9: Test Environment Duplication Failure lesson :
How you failed: .
How to not fail: .
Moral of the story: !
Failure lesson :
How you failed: .
How to not fail: .
Moral of the story: !
Poor reporting of the project’s status un-managed risks Inability to handle the project’s complexity Failure lesson :
How you failed: .
How to not fail: .
Moral of the story: !
And for your final failure:
NOT READING!!!
Come on, be serious with yourself ... did you really read all of this??